And it’s not even midnight yet.
It’s probably a good thing that it isn’t midnight yet. I have miles to go before I sleep.
Ok, maybe not miles, but I do still need to take a shower and enter my paperwork so I can actually get paid from my day job. And I need to write today.
I need to write, not just because I took a challenge to write 500 words a day, but because a day I don’t write just doesn’t feel finished. I have so many stories I want to get out of my head and on to paper that I go to bed and toss and turn until I get up and get the words written down.
Right now, I’m exhausted. My eyes are watering and starting to droop as I type. I need a shower and some chapstick.
But here I am, at my computer, putting words on the screen to share with the world because I said I would.
It’s wonderful, really.
And, actually, I wrote a bunch of words earlier but I can’t share them on the blog. Mostly because I don’t want to share anything too explicit. And it was explicit, oh yes, it was explicit. I’d been putting off that scene for a while and I’m still not sure why. For some reason, I get performance anxiety over writing sex scenes. I want them to be good…hot…inspiring, even.
That might be it, actually.
How can I tell if something is hot unless it turns me on? And if it turns me on, what does it say if it doesn’t turn anybody else on?
At thirty-mumble years old, I should be able to just own my sexuality, admit what I like and let the world take their shots. And, for the most part, I can when it’s just me talking about what I like. When it’s me trying to turn somebody else on, however, that can be a different story.
So, I’m trying to not take my sex scenes so personally and I’m researching other ways of describing certain basic acts so they don’t get boring. I mean, really, there are only so many ways you can insert tab a into slot b but there are an infinite number of emotions preceding, during and after the act that can be explored, poked, prodded and described.
I think that’s the job of the romance writer, really; to explore the emotions surrounding the most basic act of procreation. Well, and to maybe discuss some of the more gymnastic options, too.
And thus, I get my 500 public words written. A rambling discussion about my long day and what writing romance boils down to. Maybe tomorrow I’ll talk about attraction and how it shapes the way we deal with people in our lives. Or maybe I won’t. There’s a lot of blogs out there that deal with this already and I don’t want to get into the mystical stuff about how we attract what we get through our actions and attitudes.
But we totally do.